Would You Marry Someone Of A Different Religion Essays

The dilemma I am a 30-year-old woman of Indian ethnicity. I am a doctor and living alone, away from my family. Two years ago I met a wonderful man and we now feel it’s time to tie the knot. I have never been particularly religious, but my family is Muslim – though quite liberal. My parents have yet to meet my boyfriend, but I am sure they will love him. My problem is that in Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man – any marriage which takes place is invalid.  My boyfriend is Christian and 100% sure he does not want to convert. I fully respect his decision, but it means that we could only marry legally and not religiously. This is bugging me, as I strongly feel I would like a religious wedding blessed by God – or at least the God I understand there to be. I feel like a fanatic for having these thoughts, as I don’t do anything that a Muslim woman is expected to do. Should I ignore my conscience and marry him legally, or is this a sign to break up?

Mariella replies I wonder if it’s conscience or your sub-conscious that’s at play here. Either way, you may be asking the wrong person. If I was apathetic about religion when I was younger, I’m fast becoming radicalised against it. I never felt stirrings of faith – apart from when faced with natural wonders such as the multilayered celestial splendour of a night sky, my newborn babies, an epic coastline – so I embraced tolerance and tried to remain open to the multitude of organised belief systems I don’t share.

In the past I’ve argued with career atheist Richard Dawkins about the hypocrisy of presuming dogmatic anti-religious rhetoric to be any improvement on the sermonising of those attempting to instil faith. Such one-dimensional depictions of the negative side of belief ignore the kindness, moral ambition and generosity of billions of people who have been inspired to lead a religiously upright life.

Yet I’m edging towards a hardline approach, as the nutcases of Isis and the American far-right show the end product of free speech and religious tolerance. I say all this to confirm my sympathy for belief, if not my embrace of it. I’m not convinced this is a faith dilemma, but a tangible way of voicing deep reservations. Let’s dig around a bit in the dark, shall we?

It’s true that an enduring partnership is difficult to sustain and will require positive influences to keep it afloat. Cultural connections are helpful but can come from a shared era in pop music and political fervour.

You say you’ve met the right man and you want to get married, so you could just be faltering in fear at the final hurdle before such a huge commitment. The ambition of entering into a lifelong union is fuelled by rampant romance, but that doesn’t always silence the practical doubts from our minds.

Hitching ourselves to another for our duration on this planet is a human folly. The ideal has only thrived because at its best it provides a supportive framework from which to build our lives and bring up the next generation, not because it’s our natural inclination.

You can – and must – think hard about all the eventualities, but you won’t be able to conjure them all. Religion may be the issue that comes between you, but it’s just as likely to be bathroom habits, or competitive parenting, or financial problems, or the evolution of your working lives.

You say you “don’t do anything a Muslim woman is expected to do”, so you’re not obvious marriage material for a committed Muslim man, which is what you’re suggesting as an alternative.

A religious marriage isn’t just about the ceremony but about the promises and expectations that come with it. Handpicking the vows you take seriously is the sort of thing that gives believers of all creeds a bad name. Ultimately you’re the only one who can decide how much your inherited religion matters to your future life. Judging by how you’ve lived to date, I suspect the embrace of your family and the virtues of the man himself should and will be what you base your conscious choice on.

If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk. Follow Mariella on Twitter @mariellaf1

Marriage Essay

495 Words2 Pages

Marriage

What does marriage mean? By definition, marriage is “the legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife” (Webster’s Dictionary). Most people claim that they want their marriage to last a lifetime. Because over half of all marriages in the United States end in a divorce, most people lack the understanding of what it takes to stay married. I believe that couples should become more aware of the commitment that they are making when they enter into marriage.

Men and women should get to know one another completely before deciding to get married. Important issues such as religion, finances, career, and whether or not to have children should be discussed so that the couple can learn each other’s views regarding the…show more content…

Why did they not discuss this issue before they got married or did they think the other one would change after saying their wedding vows? Marriage is not about changing someone; instead, it is about loving your partner for his or her beliefs.

Rather than giving up and ending the marriage, many couples could save the marriage by trying to work through the problems that arise. Many people do not realize how much hard work has to be put into a marriage for it to be successful. When planning a wedding, some couples spend a lot of time preparing the vows that will be exchanged during the ceremony, but sadly the partners fail to live by the vows day after day. Scores of married couples drift apart because their hectic lives do not allow them to spend enough quality time together, which is important for a healthy marriage. Communication is also an essential factor in working through problems in a marriage.

Entering into marriage for the wrong reason usually leads to divorce. Sometimes an individual will say that he or she married for money, or he or she may claim to have married for love. Many times, lust is mistaken for love; consequently, when the passion ends so does the marriage. Some people choose to marry wealthy people solely to gain financial security, but eventually they will find that money does not lead to happiness. Others enter into marriage believing that it is a cure-all that will make

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